It’s Going to Rain Tonight

Baahar Shayad bahot tez baarish hone ko hai….Mausam ka ishara to kuchh aisa hi hai….Baadal garaz rahe hain aur hawaayen tez beh rahi hai…. Aaj office se jaldi aana ho gaya, jo ki bahot hi kum hota hai meri zindagi mein….. Par is jaldi aane ki raah me maine jo mausam ko aur tez behti hawaaon ko mehsoos kiya, wo bahot khaas tha… Mujhe ye mehsoos karna hamesha se hi bahot achha lagta hai…

Kal se aaj tak itne news chal rahe hain..Jydatar news me kal ke Pulwama attack aur Indian army ke jo jawaan shaheed hue hain unki baaten ho rahi hai….Kal Raat jabse maine ye news suni, mujhe bhi chain nahin aa raha hai… Itne humare log Shaheed ho gaye… wo log jo humari suraksha karte hain…. Jinki wajah se hum safe rehte hain…. Jinke upar hum depend karte hain… Jo photos aur videos dekhne ko mili hain…Dil Dehlaane wali hain….. Jo bhi hua wo bahut hi bura hua… Pata nahin aage kya hoga… ya kya hone wala hai….Par sachchai to ye hai ki Desh ke itne saare bete, kitno ne apna beta kho diya… Kitno ne apna pati kho diya… Kitno ne apna bhai kho diya.. Kitno ne apna sabkuchh kho diya….Jo kabhi wapas nahin aa sakte….. Mera maanna hai ki dunia me jitne bhi log hain… chahe wo kitne hi kyun na ho…. Har insaan ki zindagi chalti rehti hai Ek kahaani ki tarah..Aur har kahaani ki tarah us kahani me bhi ek Hero hota hai….. Har insaan ki kahaani ka hero wo khud hota hai…..Wo kahaani us insaan ke paida hone se shuru hoti hai aur uski aakhri saans tak wo Kahaani chalti hai… Kal na jaane kitne kahaani ka ek dukhad anth ho gaya……Sochke hi andar jo feelings aa rahi hai wo bahot painful hai……

Aaj office me break ke waqt mai yahi news dekh raha tha… News dekhte dekhte Indian Government ke donation link me pahucha… Socha kuchh donation contribute karun un army personals ke family ke liye jo ab humare beech nahin rahe..Khud bhi karun aur apne office ke doosre logon se bhi contribute karne ko kahun…. Kaafi try kiya but link down tha…. Ye baat sach hai ki jinke apne chhod ke chale gaye unke liye is waqt paison ki koi value nahin hogi… Unki to dunia dukh me doobi hogi… Par aaj nahin to kal unhe life me aage to badhna hoga…… Unke bachchon ki parwarish, unki padhai, unhe dunia me sath ghulna milna to hoga hi, Kisi ke ghar me koi medical urgency… Bahut si baaten hoti hain….. Jo chale gaya unhe toh koi wapas nahin la sakta, par jo unke pichhe reh gaye hain… Unki in zarooraton me atleast har Indian kuchh apne side se contribute kar de toh Unki thodi takleef to hum baant hi sakte hain…

Kal Pooja se kaafi serious baat hui…Itni serious baaten humare beech kabhi nahin hui thi…. Kal usne bahut kuchh puchha mujhse aur maine usse bahut kuchh puchha…… Hamesha Hansi majak aur Masti karne wali Pooja jab ek serious node me baat karti hai to mujhe usse baat karte hue ek ghabrahat hoti hai… Ek ajeeb si ghabrahat…. Meri life me sab kuchh itne saalon se serious hi raha hai… Itna intense raha hai….. Hansi-Majak ke liye hardly meri life me jagah raha ho pichhle 2-2.5 saalon se….. Par Pooja se sath ab mai khulke hansta hoon… Uski normal baaten bhi kabhi kabhi itni funny way me hoti hain ki mai hanste hi rehta hoon… Aur wo mujhe aksar kehti hai ki mai tujhe joker lagti hoon kya re….. Uska re-re karke baat karna mujhe bahut achha lagta hai.

Pooja ko meri har baat yaad hai… Hume kabhi kabhi lagta hai ki hum bahut kuchh karte hain… Kuchh baaten humare liye important hoti hai, kuchh humare liye important nahin hoti…… Jo baaten humare liye important hoti hai unpe humara focus hota hai aur jo important nahin hoti hum bas uski parwah nahin karte…..Pooja mujhe aksar messages kiya karti thi, call kiya karti thi….. Par mera focus study me tha, apne Career pe tha… Maine kabhi uske messages ko dhyan se nahin padha….Kabhi reply kar diya, kabhi bahut casually kar diya… Kabhi bilkul nahin kiya… Kabhi kai kai dino tak nahin kiya…. Call bhi pick kabhi kiya, kabhi nahin kiya….aur Call Back to kabhi kiya hi nahin…… In saari baaton se uske mann me aur dimag me kya asar padega ya pad raha hoga… ye maine kabhi nahin socha kyunki maine kabhi uske liye sochne ka waqt hi nahin nikala……Par kal pooja ne apne serious baaton ke dauraan use jitna hurt hua mere uske taraf dhyan na dene se..baaton baaton me usne sab keh diya…..Uske mann me mere liye kuchh tha… jo mai tab samajh nahin paaya jab mera samajhne ka umra tha…… Ab samajh aaya jab bahut late ho gaya….Maine use un saari baaton ke liye kal sorry kaha…. She accepted… Kai baar ek Sorry … Ek chhota sa word bahut kuchh theek kar deta hai…..Mujhe kal laga ki use jitni bhi shikayat maine di aaj tak…Shayad wo sab kal khatam ho gayi…

Uska expectation mere liye badh raha hai ye mujhe roz ehsaas ho raha hai…… Use bhi ye ehsaas ho raha hai ki is baar jo humari baat chit shuru hui hai….usme mai use bahut badla-badla lag raha hoon…. Is baar mai use uske messages aur calls ke liye focussed lag raha hoon aur is baar mai utna casual nahin hoon jitna pehle hua karta tha…. Ladkiyo ka sense of humour bahut hi achha hota hai aur Pooja ka to bahut hi achha hai… Kal usne 2-3 baar bahut hi seriously puchha..Is baar mujhe kya hua hai……. Mere andar to saare jawab hain… Socha saari baaten mann me jo hain bata doon…. Jo kisi ko nahin bol pa raha hoon…. Par bolte bolte ruk gaya…..Shayad mujhe mera past nahin karna chahiye usse….Par jab tak andar baat rakhunga, andar bhari-bhari lagte rahega…..Ek mann hota hai ki Share karna chahiye… doosra ki nahin karna chahiye…. Darr lagta hai fir wo serious na ho jaaye…. Uska bachchon jaisa bholapan, masti, ye saari baaten khatam na ho jaaye… Aage kya hota hai ye to pata nahin…. Par filhaal toh abhi hone wali baarish me shayad mujhe ek baar bahar nikal ke bheegna chahiye…..

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